Over the years I’ve lost written work, thoughts and fantastical ideas. Some through error, fraking computers! And some in spectacular fashion such that demonstration would require costly reenactment scenes with guns, a helicopter and loads of sexy women.

I must say each experience was unique though. Each work, whether words on a computer screen or a work of art carries whatever life we’ve ascribed to it. After all, in everything we create, there we are, it’s kinda like leaving a blood trail in a murder scene.

Possibly this experience… loss and recreation… death and resurrection… cough… cough… coughy… coughy… the monomyth… the Phoenix… possibly it’s part of the human curriculum.

The more I hear about these kinds of stories about losing and recreating work, one would assume there is some kind of lesson that we as human being have to learn here.

Whatever it is, it’s still a pisses the shit out of me when I lose my work.

So here’s to you; Oh Glorious Computer, FUCK U!

I just passed the 8 terabyte mark.

To be more precise it’s about 8.61 terabyte.

17 years ago I remembered my first computer having only 320k space.

Now I have 26,906,250 times more space.

Like WOW!

Just because you can do anything doesn’t mean you can do everything.

It’s advice that’s helped me stay on track, and not feel ‘guilty’ for the things I don’t do. We must pick and choose our projects, in reality. We have to learn (yawn) time management.

I know this. True enough, I’m a artist. I’m my own boss. It has its obvious advantages.

If I get a cold, or a case of the ‘fuck-it’s’ or get completely caught up in, for instance, Stephen’s King Under the Dome (highly recommended) I can take the time. I alone am responsible for the consequences.

But when I’m at the top of my game as an artist, I behave as a well-compensated executive for a company I adore. You can call this a mental trick and perhaps it is. Self-motivation is difficult and I’ll take all the help I can get. Try it, if you haven’t.

It’s sort of like playing chess with yourself, in that you must switch roles. It’s also very informative. Neatness counts. Presentation counts. What sort of employee review would you give yourself? Not to mention that a job well done is very rewarding.

I like staying back to help students with their assignments and no they don’t pay me extra. Some sort of compensation would have been nice. I really can’t complaint much. I never expected to be back at SP well not as a Lecturer that is.

It’s not easy being my student. I know I can drone on for hours. And I have.

I just got so much to say. I guess it’s because I don’t really talk to anyone about anything much.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

I want to see Mountains.

I just watched Avatar for the fourth time today.

I haven’t been awestruck by a movie since LOTR : ROTK.

Simply Beautiful.

One can only speculate what new wonders modern man can conjure up onto the silver screen.

What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That’s not been said a thousand times?
The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.
We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.
We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.
We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.
We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that’s the burden of a year.

How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack.

I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life… you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now.

You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home… I want you to stuff it all into that backpack.

Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office… and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend.

You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag.

Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises.

The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living.

Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.