The great thing about the past is that it’s over.

There’s really no reason for me to be upset over anything; past, present or even the future.

I can change anything in my life if I so choose.

I can throw away any negative emotions at any time I choose.

I can decide to stop listening to other people and follow my heart’s desire.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

I am not going to put barriers on myself anymore.

I am going to be fucking relentless in my pursuits.

With a heavy heart I had to let you go because I knew you had given your heart to someone else.

I don’t blame you.

It was your choice.

I really wished we could have been together.

You were the only gurl I truly ever loved.

Well that’s all in the past.

Now I’ve got a dream to catch.

A mighty big one at that.

I’m 27 today.

I can’t help but feel depressed. Actually I am putting it mildly.

Every year I get the same questions and the same treatment.

This year was probably the worst.

I did my best to make everyone happy and a little reciprocation would have been nice.

I don’t want to offend anyone so I put on a mask do what I have always done; give polite answers.

… I wish I had someone to talk to, hug, hold hands, laugh with.

But who’s there for me?

February 13, the only day I look forward to each year knowing I will be disappointed.

So yeah, Happy Birthday to Me, may all my dreams come true.

What a pile of …

Actually if you think about it, I chose to be in this depressive state.

All this misery pays no salary.

You know I could change all this and what better way than to do it today.

Well there will always be regrets in life. But life’s too short and fucking pointless to be wallowing.

Always do what you want the way that you want to do it. You don’t need any fucking permissions. Be all you can be, and if people hate you for it, well it ain’t your problem.

As my tenure as a lecturer comes to a close next Thursday, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was indeed the very last time I will ever mark assignments.

It was around 5:33pm yesterday when I received this SMS from my student.

“Hey mr ganz, thanks for everything during tis module, ur a great teacher and it was a breeze learning from you, thank you so much!mayb we’ll see ya in e industry someday!”

I couldn’t help but smile. Every day I tell myself that if ever one person was to be directly inspired by my work, it meant that I lead a purposeful life among other things.

I guess that’s why I always wanted to be part of something great. The reason I keep pushing myself and wanting to learn more and more.

How can I succumb to mediocrity when this world is filled with great men and women who made enormous contributions despite everything that has happened to them. As Sir Issac Newton once said, “If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants”

I know I sound melodramatic, but that’s how it always has been for me. I don’t know if I ever inspired anyone. I just felt happy someone took the time to write something nice for me.

I’m sure you guys wanted to know my reply and it went like this;

“Thank you for your kind and wonderful words. It was my pleasure to teach what little I know of maya to you guys. My only wish, a rather simple one is for you to remain passionate about your dreams. Viva La Vie Boheme!”

You know I had a lot of fun being a lecturer. This has been the best job I have ever had and I am glad I listened to her.

As I lay on my back staring into the darkness, I tried to dream.

Dream of our lives together.

I just couldn’t.

Sigh…

I feel… I feel like…
Who cares what we feel like?
Whose got the time anymore.

I hate you so for what you done to me
Made me fall in love with no security
I gotta move on
move on with my life
But it’s so hard when you’re still on my mind

If only she knew…

Today more than ever…

Now looking back at all we’ve planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we’ll see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

My heart beat, beats me senselessly.
Why’s everything gotta be so intense with me?
I’m trying handle all this unpredictability.
In all probability.

Who knows how long I’ve loved you,
You know I love you still.
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to I will.